Now cut those goal(s) in half (or double the time required if that makes more sense) and rewrite those goals on a new piece of paper. Why cut them in half (or double the time)? Because we tend to overestimate what we can realistically achieve by about 40%, so now you’re being realistic. Your welcome. đ
Seriously, this is true. Most people shoot too high and then expect perfection. Once they reach a hiccup, miss a target, fall off the wagon, etc., they throw in the towel because their brain was expecting perfection. This is normal and the main reason most people quit as soon as the going gets tough. If you cut those goals in half, now they will probably be attainable and you will be encouraged when you hit them, keeping your motivation levels high.
It is also important to change your expectations from perfection (the default expectation of the human brain) to progress. Get rid of the whole concept of perfection. Unless you are Jesus, it’s just not possible, so why would you try to hold to that standard? Let it go. Then expect progress. And then expect to fail at that too. You will have bad days that make you feel like you are going backward from your goal. And you probably are. So what. Get over it and get back on track. You’re human. humans fail. The ones who really make it big are the ones who get back up the quickest when they fall.
I’m not saying here to be more pessimistic. Optimism is fantastic and people who are more optimistic succeed in their goals more often, but the natural optimism bias 80% of us have, does cause us to overestimate what our accomplishments will be, which makes us set unrealistic goals. Then when we expect perfection of these goals, we often end up failing, losing hope and giving up. Optimism is great, but combining that with the expectation of perfection can be a problem.
If this whole concept of cutting your goals in half or doubling the time sounds crazy to you or like kryptonite, then you are certainly a perfectionist and you REALLY need to do this!
If you reset your benchmark from perfection to progress (and shake off the days when that doesn’t happen)Â and remain focused on that progress, you will get back on the train faster when you fall off (and you will because remember, you’re human).
Second, post your goals sheet in a place where you will see it every day. Most people post it on their bathroom mirror, but some post it on the fridge and some in the car, or they make it their phone background. More than one place is a good idea or all of the above! Pretend that you are OCD (or if you are, use that to your advantage) because the more you see it, the more you are immersed in the process.
Third, speak your goal(s) out loud every day to yourself in the mirror. Now you know why I recommended making it concise – so itâs easy to do this step every day.
When you speak it, do so emphatically, with passion, imagining that it has already happened. You are that person in your imagination now, as you are speaking it. Now the mental images you are creating will get through the conscious/subconscious brain barrier faster and easier.
You can fake it too and your subconscious wonât know it. Be an âover-actorâ if your conscious brain doesnât believe what you are saying. Your subconscious operates at about the level of a three-year-old, so whatever works on a toddler will work on your subconscious. Itâs really not that clever and it responds to images and emotions better than anything. Thatâs why really good kidsâ plays and the best childrenâs TV shows are full of âover-actors.â
Now after doing these three simple steps, you have distinguished yourself among less than 1% of Americans who are like you. And their success rate is so high itâs astonishing.
Most people just donât take the importance of goals seriously. They might think they are, but their subconscious hasnât bought in because they donât know it needs to, or they donât know how to make that happen.Â
Lastly, another reason people donât set goals (and in some cases, the most important reason of all) is the fear of failure. Donât expect perfection. Simply strive for consistent progress. People only get disappointed in themselves or someone else if an expectation hasnât been met. Expect progress and set that as your benchmark instead of perfection. Itâs referred to as âThe way of the Samuraiâ – to simply get a little better every day. Leaps forward are great and steps backward are inevitable since youâre human, but as long as progress is your goal, your chances of success are virtually assured.
These are âCliff Notesâ to make it easy for the people who might find this on the internet, but if you want coaching with more specifics, we do that! Just email p@bandp.life for more information.
P.S. For those of you who would like to see some of the science behind this stuff, check out this article for just one of the many examples.